40 Year Redemption

I've tried to write a new year's post for the past several days, but for some a reason I kept putting it off with some pretty good excuses
(at least to me) --- too tired, too cold, too much going on ... and then ... well -- I will get to "their story" in a little bit.  But first, I want to share the links of 2 of my posts from last March.  Dan & I were heading toward our 30th anniversary, and I shared a bit about how we got to 30.  It wasn't the fairytale that either of us had expected when we eloped on May 16, 1984 ... but it's our story ... our road to redemption: 

 

Part 1 -- our beginning fairytale

Part 2 - our marriage nearly ending

 

In these posts I quoted a song by Mark Schultz Love Walked In ... beautiful song that brings the relevance of God into our everyday lives.  There's a second verse to this very song that is being lived and breathed as I write this post -- with a couple exceptions ... his wife of nearly 40 years has never left his side and neither has his step-daughter or numerous friends --- just his only child ...

 

All alone in a cold, white room
They've only given him a week or two
And it's no surprise nobody calls
All he's got is regret and tears
He hasn't spoken to his kids in years
But he just heard his daughter in the hall

So many times tears have come to his eyes as he recalled when the rift began ...
and then the escalation ... and then finally --- no words, no calls, no visits ... nothing.
The details of this rift are of no importance now ... words were exchanged and feelings hurt ...
and the rift grew.
Leaving a hurt father with no communication with his only child ...
grandchildren who were torn between parent and grandparent ...
great-grandchildren who never knew their great-grandfather.

Until now ... some 40 years later ... at his side preparing for his last breath ...

redemption ...

redeeming the rift
   redeeming lost time
redeeming their relationship

Redemption is beautiful --

{even 40 years later}
{{ESPECIALLY 40 years later}}

And it's the greatest story ever told
That when it looked like there was no hope

Love walked in through the door
Face to face with brokenness
Said, "It's still worth dying for."
Met the world with a kiss
Walls fell down when Love walked in

 

My 50 Things ...

Some people view "knocking over another decade" as a milestone ... I am the opposite.  The one birthday that I truly considered my "milestone" has come & gone. I won't clutter this post with links, but a few posts from August 2012 and 2013 give some details on my "milestone" birthday and the events that led to it being my milestone.

Now my 50th birthday is coming around very soon ... in less than a week. So, in honor of the "big 5-0" I've written 50 things I am grateful for & what I consider as blessings.  There's been lots of changes & transitions in our household lately, so I'm looking at this next chapter positively.  After all, God breathed the promise that He would work all things for the good for His children. And, as I am a child of God -- I can not only count my blessings but I can also see when things weren't necessarily a piece of cake to live through ... but He turned those into the good for where I am now. 

 

These are not in any certain order of importance or my gratitude for them, they are simply "some" of the things I am grateful for ... this list does not cover everything I'm thankful for either.  I will say that the most important blessing to me is the blood of Jesus Christ -- God's one & only beloved Son -- who took the punishment for my sin so that I would live eternally with Him. Every of thing on this list stems from God's mercy & grace to me through Jesus Christ.

And so ... here it goes:

~~~ Our family's little "holler" where I grew up having my parents, my Granny, cousins, aunts & uncles all around me -- Granny's house in the center (and my sister coming along almost 9 years after me)

~~~ The close-knit community I grew up in {a community which had a population small enough that we all knew each other's families}
~~~ My hometown church where I was baptized in the creek that ran behind it
~~~ My Granny's front porch where the grown-ups would swing on the porch while all us kids would play in Granny's front yard
~~~ My Granny's back porch where memories were shared & made ... from the glider to the swing to the rocks to the trees -- and the old well-pump house stood to the side
~~~ Teachers who were family or friends, and probably had taught other family members -- and knew all families of their students
~~~ My Granny's gardens where I would work alongside to help plant & harvest vegetables/flowers

~~~ Memories of good times growing up in our little corner of country-life

~~~ The old dipper of Granny's that was used to water her flowers as well as hung over her kitchen sink so that all of us could use to get a drink of water when we wanted
~~~ Wisdom gained throughout the years ... even through some tough lessons
along the way
~~~ Swimming in the creek across the road and the old swinging bridge that crossed the creek & bike rides with my uncle leading the way
~~~ Relationship values ... family values ... Christ-centered life
~~~ The little blonde girl who always dreamed ... and still dreams as
she approaches her 50th
~~~ Friends who walked alongside during the crazy years & stayed around for years to come

 

~~~ For God's grace during life-changing crises
~~~ For dirt roads that teach us more of life's lessons than we imagine
~~~ For best friends' parents who become just like 2nd parents
~~~ For technology that has brought many new friendships into my life
~~~ Today ... these truly are the "good ol' days"
 ~~~ New community with new opportunities & the city that would be now known as "home"
~~~ Circles of friends to share with as our kids grew up in our church ministries

~~~ Reconciliation ... restoration ... redemption
~~~ God's unending mercies & grace when we had all but given up
~~~ Hometown pastors who were more than pastors -- and counted as life-long friends always
~~~ Nail-scarred hands to welcome loved ones who are still missed everyday
~~~ For pursuing the dreams that God had instilled & knowing we walked in His center
~~~ For the miracle of life when the doctor gave no hope of becoming parents
~~~ For the promise that He will work all things for my good since I am His child
~~~ Laughter, giggles & chaos as well as quiet times
~~~ Walt Disney's vision of family fun togetherness
~~~ Being stretched beyond my comfort zone when sometimes I'd rather become a recluse

~~~ Social media reconnecting me with old friends
~~~ Work ethic, character & integrity (hopefully mine as a positive)
~~~ For hiking the hillsides of my country community
~~~ Birthdays & celebrations ... anniversaries & births ... weddings & reunions
~~~ Out of the whole world, my country is the United States of America
~~~ Those who have prayed, sustained and held up the arms of our kids especially during these past 2 1/2 years
~~~ For the Internet that provides reconnection with life-long friends

~~~ Friends who simply walk alongside me although we may be miles apart or just do not get together as often as in the past
~~~ Past friendships that may have been for a season ... but will always be with me
~~~ God's unfailing grace toward me ... although I sometimes fall short of extending grace to others
~~~ My daughter Jacqueline & the heritage of her namesake of her great-aunt
~~~ My 2 grandchildren Lucy & Tag who carry family names & heritage to pass down to future generations
~~~ My Mother who taught a very young girl to pray
~~~ My Daddy who taught that young girl that your character matters
~~~ Challenges that grow me ... and peace that sustains me
~~~ My Granny ... who was always there for me

~~~ Changing seasons that illustrate so vividly that God never leaves us where we are
~~~ My husband who followed God's design for him before he accepted Him ... 
we're going on 31 years together ... and it just gets better
~~~ Every breath is the most precious gift from God ... and not taken for granted

 

These 50 things certainly do not include every detail on my thankfulness ...
but I'm looking forward to sharing more blessings in the posts to come ...

I'm looking forward to "knocking over another decade" very soon!

 
  

 



 

 

Celebrating 30 ... Hawaiian Style

So, last fall when he said "I think you & I need to have a little time alone for our 30th"  

I began to toss out some ideas ... we had wanted to go back to the mountains -- 

we could probably squeeze in a couple of extra days at Disney to ourselves -- 

he'd been to Niagara Falls as a kid, but I haven't been -- 

possibility after possibility ... and he kept saying  

"That would be fun.  But that's not where I'm thinking"

 

Then ... when he said "I was thinking about Hawaii" 

  ... my mouth dropped!!!  

And then ... I said the first thing that popped into my head 

"Are you sure???????"

And so ... 

we celebrated ----- 

just him and me ... 

a few weeks pre-anniversary date ---

10 days in O'ahu ...

just me and him

God's grace of our past 30 years ...

fairytale

brokenness

reconciliation

grace

restoration

mercy

redemption

... and it has been worth every moment that has brought us to where we are now ...

Whether in Hawaii ...

or at home ... 

or anywhere else ...

 I am so very thankful for the man that God gave me ...

everywhere and everyday

We started dating September 24, 1983 ...

 we eloped on May 16, 1984 ...

some people may have thought that we just wouldn't make it ...

{and we almost didn't}

But ...

God's grace is ever-so abundant

God's faithfulness is unending

God's redemption is beautiful

Yes, redemption is beautiful ...

When Our Fairytale Met Real Life

Before reading this post, I suggest to ... (then this will become clearer)
CLICK HERE to read the beginning of our fairytale story together

So now ...

the middle --

not a fairytale ...

but the real-life ...


On May 16, 1984 we pledged before God 

to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, 

for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love honor and obey,

as long as we both shall live

Little did we know at the time that "our" lifespan was less than four years.  Before our 4th anniversary, we were separated

 ... and then the divorce papers ... then 2 court hearings ... we were actually just two signatures & the payment to the lawyers away from ending "what God had joined together".

All alone in a great big house

Nothing left but an empty vow

And two hearts that had all but given up

Bag packed and he said goodbye

But he’s sitting in the car outside

Looking at a ring and a reason not to run

For several months, we were on our way to destroying not only ourselves but our daughter and everyone around us.  This time period has become a blur to both of us, but we know that we were on a downhill slide picking up momentum and speed to destruction.  Then something happened inside each of us ... 

(Then) Love walked in

Through the door

And face to face with brokenness

Said it’s still worth fighting for

Crushed the doubt

With a kiss

Walls fell down

When love walked in

Over the course of the next several years, we had no idea how to "fix" us.  As hard as we tried -- and neither of us was willing to let go of "what God has joined together".  We would be doing great for several months ... 
and then (in the words of our middle-school aged daughter) KABOOM!!! 
Every hurt ... every tear ... every memory -- brought back up.

During this time, we were active in our daughter's activities at church & school ...
we were active in our church roles & faithful in our tithes ...
yet we couldn't "fix" the kabooms.

There were two distinct events that turned us around ... both of us remember these events very clearly.  When our family (the 3 of us) was going through a major crisis, dear friends of ours gave us a video of an evangelist speaking at a pastor's conference.  Our family traveled through the Valley of Baca during this time.  And then Dan & I both were hit with reality ... satan would use any force he could to tear our family completely apart.  
We both needed to be ONE UNITED FORCE.

The other event was a revival that our next church ministry experienced.  We learned of a (new to us) concept ...

the husband-wife relationship

It may sound so simple to those reading this, but it sure wasn't to us.  We had gone along in our married life (at this point for many years) ... we had come so close to destroying our marriage ... and yet -- this was a new concept to both of us.  
It was at this point that we experienced what we had been missing all along.

We had "reconciled" ... we were trying to "restore" ... 
and then we experienced

God's redemption

and
redemption is beautiful

And it’s the greatest story ever told

Than when it looked like there was no more hope

Love walked in

Through the door

And face to face with brokenness

Said it’s still worth dying for

Met the world

With a kiss
Walls fell down

When love walked in

So the picture that I mentioned in a previous post 
( CLICK HERE to read The ABCs of Our 30 )
as one of my favorites ... 

Christmas 1988 ... 

we were reconciling and restoring ... 

we simply refused to give up ...

we "choosed" each other ...

{Disclaimer -- only diet coke in the iced mug}

  ~~ 25 years later ~~

Christmas 2013 ...

yes ...

redemption is beautiful

In my previous post The ABCs of Our 30 ... each letter of the alphabet represents our 30 years of marriage.  Some people may question why I've written these posts ... and quite frankly I really have no idea of "why now".  I can only say that over the past few weeks I've felt a little nudge from God.  And if one person can relate to these posts, then it's worth it all to my husband and me. You see, we believe that God does NOT bring us through crises just for us ... but rather He enables us to reach out and help and comfort others.  One of my most favorite passages of scripture is II Corinthians 1:3-7 ...


 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ. Now if we are afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effective for enduring the same sufferings which we also suffer.
Or if we are comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation. And our hope for you is steadfast, because we know that as you are partakers of the sufferings, so also you will partake of the consolation.

Dan & I own "our story" ... it may not have the fairytale "middle" that we had imagined during our early days of marriage ... 

but it's our God-story.  Sure we may wish that we hadn't have caused each other so much pain and tears ... but it's all brought us to where we are today ...

Much more solid and grounded in God's truths that have brought us to what will be our

30th anniversary 

on 

May 16, 2014

and once again ...

God's redemption is beautiful