Friday, February 28, 2014

When Our Fairytale Met Real Life

Before reading this post, I suggest to ... (then this will become clearer)
CLICK HERE to read the beginning of our fairytale story together

So now ...
the middle --
not a fairytale ...
but the real-life ...

On May 16, 1984 we pledged before God 
to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, 
for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love honor and obey,
as long as we both shall live

Little did we know at the time that "our" lifespan was less than four years.  Before our 4th anniversary, we were separated
 ... and then the divorce papers ... then 2 court hearings ... we were actually just two signatures & the payment to the lawyers away from ending "what God had joined together".

All alone in a great big house
Nothing left but an empty vow
And two hearts that had all but given up
Bag packed and he said goodbye
But he’s sitting in the car outside
Looking at a ring and a reason not to run

For several months, we were on our way to destroying not only ourselves but our daughter and everyone around us.  This time period has become a blur to both of us, but we know that we were on a downhill slide picking up momentum and speed to destruction.  Then something happened inside each of us ... 

(Then) Love walked in
Through the door
And face to face with brokenness
Said it’s still worth fighting for
Crushed the doubt
With a kiss
Walls fell down

When love walked in

Over the course of the next several years, we had no idea how to "fix" us.  As hard as we tried -- and neither of us was willing to let go of "what God has joined together".  We would be doing great for several months ... 
and then (in the words of our middle-school aged daughter) KABOOM!!! 
Every hurt ... every tear ... every memory -- brought back up.

During this time, we were active in our daughter's activities at church & school ...
we were active in our church roles & faithful in our tithes ...
yet we couldn't "fix" the kabooms.

There were two distinct events that turned us around ... both of us remember these events very clearly.  When our family (the 3 of us) was going through a major crisis, dear friends of ours gave us a video of an evangelist speaking at a pastor's conference.  Our family traveled through the Valley of Baca during this time.  And then Dan & I both were hit with reality ... satan would use any force he could to tear our family completely apart.  
We both needed to be ONE UNITED FORCE.

The other event was a revival that our next church ministry experienced.  We learned of a (new to us) concept ...

the husband-wife relationship

It may sound so simple to those reading this, but it sure wasn't to us.  We had gone along in our married life (at this point for many years) ... we had come so close to destroying our marriage ... and yet -- this was a new concept to both of us.  
It was at this point that we experienced what we had been missing all along.

We had "reconciled" ... we were trying to "restore" ... 
and then we experienced

God's redemption

redemption is beautiful

And it’s the greatest story ever told
Than when it looked like there was no more hope

Love walked in
Through the door
And face to face with brokenness
Said it’s still worth dying for
Met the world
With a kiss
Walls fell down
When love walked in

So the picture that I mentioned in a previous post 
( CLICK HERE to read The ABCs of Our 30 )
as one of my favorites ... 

Christmas 1988 ... 
we were reconciling and restoring ... 
we simply refused to give up ...
we "choosed" each other ...
{Disclaimer -- only diet coke in the iced mug}

  ~~ 25 years later ~~

Christmas 2013 ...

yes ...
redemption is beautiful

In my previous post The ABCs of Our 30 ... each letter of the alphabet represents our 30 years of marriage.  Some people may question why I've written these posts ... and quite frankly I really have no idea of "why now".  I can only say that over the past few weeks I've felt a little nudge from God.  And if one person can relate to these posts, then it's worth it all to my husband and me. You see, we believe that God does NOT bring us through crises just for us ... but rather He enables us to reach out and help and comfort others.  One of my most favorite passages of scripture is II Corinthians 1:3-7 ...

 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ. Now if we are afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effective for enduring the same sufferings which we also suffer.
Or if we are comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation. And our hope for you is steadfast, because we know that as you are partakers of the sufferings, so also you will partake of the consolation.

Dan & I own "our story" ... it may not have the fairytale "middle" that we had imagined during our early days of marriage ... 
but it's our God-story.  Sure we may wish that we hadn't have caused each other so much pain and tears ... but it's all brought us to where we are today ...

Much more solid and grounded in God's truths that have brought us to what will be our

30th anniversary 
May 16, 2014

and once again ...

God's redemption is beautiful 


Theresa said...

What a beautiful share of your walk thru good and bad times! It isn't easy to stay married, the easy part sometimes is to just give up! My Husband and I have been married 28 years and have had our share of ups and downs! We decided many years ago that we could work thru any troubles with the help of God and Family:) We will be married until death do us part! Enjoy your week ahead dear friend, thanks for stopping by and leaving your sweet comment! HUGS!

Granny said...

Theresa, Thank you so much for your sweet words! When God is our Center, we all can get through anything -- sometimes we just have to learn through crises to put Him first. And congratulations on your 28 years ~~~ that's a true testimony to your family & friends!!! Have a blessed week, sweet friend :)