The Little Gray Notebook

So this is the first time I've checked my blog-site in several days.  I had really wanted to do some different writings on here, but I'm at a mental road-block.  Last night I was excited about a new posting:  since being in a bit of a creative standstill, I knew that I could pull out my old gray notebook that still has writings in it from my high school days.  I knew that I could easily find it, and at least post something from days gone by to fill up a little bit of space on this empty site.  So, the search began ...  my nightstand -- not there.  Granddad's nightstand -- nope.  Closet shelf -- no such luck.  Entertainment center -- what, along with all of Granddad's music stuff?  (I sure wasn't thinking on that one.)  So, I started singing "Oh where oh where can my notebook be, Oh where oh where can it be?"  After about 30 minutes of the song going through my head, I gave up looking.  Besides, I will find it tomorrow -- how hard can it really be to find a notebook that I've had for ... uummm , a few years.

Now I am at that "tomorrow" ... and still no notebook.  I've searched the desk, buffet, under the bed (ugh the dust!), the closet (even more dust!).  My conclusion --- my little gray notebook is becoming a writing crutch.  I had actually thought that it would motivate me and I could post some old writings for Lucy to have as she gets older.

Maybe I'm putting too much emphasis on that notebook.  Would I still love to find it to read through my old writings?  Yes.  Is finding it so important that I need to put everything else in life on hold in order to get fulfillment from reading from the past?  No. Do the writings from days gone by have an affect on my writings today?  Possibly -- but that's up to me.  I have a choice on whether I will allow them to affect me or not.  Quite honestly, I've matured since I wrote anything in the notebook.  And my writings hopefully have matured over the past years as well.


A wise man once said that (para-phrased) sometimes we romanticize the past as to the way we want to believe it really happened.  As Shawn pointed out to Juliette, too many times we look back on certain occurrences and see them through our rose colored glasses.  Yes, Shawn from Psych was that wise man.   What does Shawn's deep philosophical revelation of the past have on my little gray notebook?  I'm still figuring that out.  But, it's a really neat concept if you think about it for a minute.  I'm sure there's a correlation somewhere -- afterall, it's Shawn!

I am determined to find my little gray notebook.  I think I may need a good laugh.  Or maybe I'll shriek in horror and say "did I really write that!"  Or, a long-shot possibility, I'll say "not bad".  But, no matter how I react, I'm very thankful that God has allowed me to mature over the past years.  After all, He designed me, He guides me and He walks beside me.  I'm still growing and maturing ... and thank God, He's still with me.  My Granny would always say "When I've stopped learning, then I'm with Jesus."

A wonderful THANK YOU to Mrs. GI Joe for the new blog look ... I love my daughter!