My Favorite Day ... When I Became His "Mrs."

Today just happens to be my most favorite day of the year -- for the past 29 years.  
On this day ... 

May 16, 1984 ... 



my boyfriend & I eloped ...

I became his "Mrs." 

My "Bridal Shower" turned out to be our "Household Shower" -- June '84

April 2013 ...

A few weeks ago, my husband & I were in a store looking at bedroom furniture for Lucy.  A saleslady came up to us & was making small talk -- asking if we were buying something for our daughter.  I just chuckled a little and said we were actually looking for something for our granddaughter ... and God bless the lady's heart for following along & pretending that she was so surprised we could have grandchildren (I owe her big, God!)  Then she began her questioning (to somewhat delve a little deeper to see if "our story" actually added up):

How long have you all been married?

Going on 29 years in just a few weeks ...

How long did you date?

For 8 months ... then we eloped ...

At that point of the "interrogation" I think half the store heard her gasp and lift her head
toward the ceiling exclaiming 
"I can't believe it!!! You two have a story to tell me!!!"  

Then, she looked at my husband and said 

"I've heard that some men 'just know' right away who is meant to be with him for the rest of his life.  
And you knew, didn't you?"

Now my husband's turn to reply ... (and might I add, with a big smile to his "bride") ... 

Oh yeah, I knew and I still know.

And I know too ... this man that I have shared my life with for the past 29 years is the man that God had chosen for me long before time began.  I believe that with everything I am.  However, I will admit that there have been some aspects of married life that I (kind of) wish I had known back then as 
a 19 year old bride to my 22 year old husband.  
 

I wish I had known

... that I would love my husband more 29 years later than I did when we said "I do"

... that as much as I thought I respected him back then, I really didn't have a clue what "respect" meant

... that when we put God as the Center of our marriage, there's nothing that can tear us down

... that the boy of my dreamy-eyes would become the most dependable family man I've ever known

... that some of our traditions we began "way back then" would carry with us for 
(at least) 29 years

... that even before my husband sought God, He was watching over him to shape him into the man of integrity & loyalty that he is today

... that our daughter would always be "Daddy's girl" even when she's married with children of her own

... that our grandchildren would adore their Grandad & even at a young age feel the love he has for them

  ... that the man I married would forever be my best friend, my "go to" man, 
my confidante

... that he would never ask for more of me than he would be willing to give of himself

... that he would be one of the most well-respected leaders of his God-chosen profession

... that he would lead our family through crises by choosing careful words & actions through much time spent in prayer

... that he would still refer to me as "Sweetheart" to the world for 29 years to come

 ... that it's okay not to agree on everything because although we are "one",
 we are still individuals

... that marriage is NOT 50-50 ... it takes 100% from each of us on a daily basis

... that "love" is much more than a feeling -- it's our way of life

... that after 29 years, I still get butterflies when he calls me his wife

... that our differences make life interesting as we encourage each other to pursue their own hobbies that eventually bring both of us pleasure as we learn from the other

... that nothing this side of Heaven is perfect, but we are much better doing imperfect together than we are at doing imperfect apart


I know, I know ... that's more that just a few little things.  So, I guess if I had to choose just 1 thing that I wish I'd known back then, it would be ... 



nothing at all



Our marriage has been our journey to where we are today ...

each day has brought about blessings ... while
some days have brought challenges ... yet
all days have brought us to our 29th anniversary

a day in which I would do over again ...

with no regrets
with no hesitation
with no foresight



Happy 29th Anniversary
to the Love of my Life ~~~



I so look forward to each moment God gives us to come
You are my everything, Honey ...

And I'm still giddy to be 
Your Sweetheart

On Being Disjointed ...

Our 23rd anniversary and 1st Honeymoon!

I've mentioned in a prior post that every past 28 tax seasons have brought about different challenges as well as extended work hours by my dear husband.  And this tax season (#29) was no different in that regards.  We had some challenges here at home as well as challenges that most accounting firms faced this year.  The challenges here at home were mainly due to Grandad's work hours & his trying to balance the home-work schedules.  He made a deliberate point to be home in the mid-evening hours (around 7pm) to spend with our grandchildren, but after they would go to bed he would work for another 3 hours or more from his work space at home.  The last week of tax season brought even more hours in which it was impossible for him to leave the office before putting in at least 18 hours per day. So, Lucy & Tag were going through "Grandad-withdrawal" ... just as Grandad was going through "LucyTag-withdrawals" -- all 3 were really a sad sight to see (and hear). 

There's always a period coming out of every tax season that I have felt a little disjointed. Honestly, my husband & I are getting re-used to being a couple again and going places together. Every April 15th has brought my motto "let the adjustments begin" to reality.  He & I joke about it because, quite frankly, it really doesn't take us too long to get used to his "normal" post-tax season working hours.  He & I have always enjoyed being together -- going places together, talking, relaxing together ... we truly enjoy each other's company.

When he & I were out one evening, I made a statement to him that I could almost sense he was feeling as well.  I told him that I have been feeling a bit "disjointed".  I'm not sure if it's been because of the challenging tax season (to which he was working upwards of 90+ hours the last few weeks) ... or because we both had missed a lot of church during this time ... I just don't know "why".  And he actually admitted that he felt the same way.  So, here's a few focal points we've come up with to get us through when these disjointed periods appear:

• We both know that we are always here for each other.  Sounds pretty simple.  But sometimes life gets hectic (such as with tax season) and there's just not enough time in the day to get things done.  I tend to get frustrated when I don't see results quickly (no matter the task).  He looks more at the longer range... and he helps me to break tasks down to a day by day, week by week basis.  But no matter what ... we've got each other's backs.
• We always rely that God will bring us through these various seasons (as individuals & as a couple) to become better equipped to share this journey with others who will possibly travel along similar paths as we do.  Grandad & I have grandchildren who are watching us as we go about our daily routines.  One day they will be able to look back on these days as a collective & see that their grandparents got through various seasons in life -- together.  And we are role models to other couples no matter what stage in life any of us are.  With God as our center, we can reach out to others who may experience a bit of what we have already been through in our married life & share with them how God brought us through that particular season. 
• We realize that it truly is only a season. There have been many seasons in our married lives that we've walked through, and there will be many more seasons to come.  Some have been joyous seasons, others have been challenging seasons ... but each season has shaped us into the married "one" that we are today.  Just like the seasons of nature God gives us, there are so many varied seasons in our married lives that He guides us through.  Each season will bring about its own rewards when we follow through by walking moment by moment, day by day ... together ... in Him.

I will definitely admit that there's been some seasons in our married life that I wish we hadn't had to go through.  But, they've made us stronger and more reliant on each other and God Himself.  And that's the key when we're faced with various seasons whether in our married life, household life, work life, etc  --- we place God as center and our spouse next.  Disjointedness may occur periodically, but with God & our spouse as our focus ... we now have destination points to take each little baby step toward filling in the joints as life brings about its challenges.

There's always rewards waiting at the end of our seasons.  
Just as tax seasons come & go ... 
our disjointedness begins to fade ... 
the joints begin filling in with couple time and grandchildren time ... 
focusing on what God has in store for these next days, weeks & months ahead ... 
before our #30 tax season appears. 
(But, trust me ... we are not borrowing the challenges of #30 now -- 
those will come soon enough)

{If anyone else has experienced disjointedness at any time, please feel free to either email me or leave a message on this post.  
We're all in this crazy life together -- as a blogging community --
so maybe we can lend some helpful tid-bits on filling in the joints 
before the dis comes!}

I am one blessed lady!

My (Almost) Wordless Wednesday

my husband

granddaughter

grandson

my 3 heroes  

I'm awestruck everyday with them in my life.

Just a Word of Encouragement

Just a few of my husband's instruments

God placed a couple of people in my path this week to create teachable moments for me.  He's used these people in order for me to ask an important question of myself.  And I'm finding more and more that as I need these lessons in life, maybe someone else in the world (or at least in my small circle of readers) may need these as well.  Regardless, though, I do hope that maybe one day my grandchildren and generations to follow will understand my beliefs and values that make up who "Granny" really is.

It started on Sunday morning as I was making my way through some groups of people chatting before our church service began. Lucy had grabbed her Grandad's hand wanting him to take her to her class, and a friend of ours saw me but had just missed 2 of my favorite people walking by. Our friend then asked me  

"Is Dan playing in the band this morning?"  

I simply replied "No, not this morning."  

His response "I sure miss him up there in our praise band. I always looked forward to hearing his talent, and just to see him give all of his worship on stage." 

My heart was filled just in that little 60 second exchange

Someone had been touched not only by my husband's musical gift, but this person had actually seen the worship through Dan using his gift of music for his Lord & Savior.  

I just knew that this was going to be a God-filled week 

(which every week and every day and every moment is God-filled ... but hopefully you get the picture).

So then at breakfast a couple of mornings later, we saw an acquaintance who stopped by our table  

"I don't want to interrupt your breakfast, but I just wanted to say how much I always appreciated your 

worship service at our church."  

Dan replied "Well, thank you. That really means a lot to me." 

 So the conversation continued by our acquaintance "You know, we have so much good talent in our church & a lot of extremely great musicians. You always stood out to me and my wife."  

Dan just smiled and nodded his thanks once again.  The man continued ...  

"You see! Even just in your smile, I can see Jesus shining in your eyes. Your love for the Lord always comes through in your music. And other people see it too. No matter who's on the stage leading the worship music, that's their worship to Him. And we could always see you worshiping God through your singing & playing. 

And I just had to come over and tell you."

And my heart just overflowed

(Someone else had been touched by my husband's worship to his Savior)

And Yet ... 

I knew it was more than just an affirmation of my husband's singing & using his musical gift in our praise band.  Some people would look at this and shake their heads ... wondering if an ego was being filled.  Well, I know I'm biased, but I can honestly say that my husband has the least of the least egos that I have ever been around. For various reasons he hasn't been involved in the praise team for well over a year, yet his worship has been an encouragement to others & has left an impression on their lives. So an ego? 

I can safely say not with my husband.

But you know, God had another reason for placing these people in our paths this week. Sometimes His lessons in life are straight-up and I know exactly the point He is making to me.  However, at other times such as these I have to look beyond the surface to find His nuggets for me.  

And this has been a simple lesson in 

expressing appreciation & encouragement to others. 

How many times have I given up the opportunity to simply say to someone

"you've made a difference in my life"

"your contribution to (fill in the blank) has been a blessing to me"

or just simply ...

"thank you for all you've done and all you do"

Speaking for myself, I know that I haven't shown as much appreciation to others as I should have. Sometimes I've talked myself out of this by making the excuse that I 

may over-step or sound pretty silly ...

wouldn't know how to begin the conversation or even a message on a card ...

don't know how to approach people ...

am really not part of their "in-crowd" so it really doesn't matter.

My list of excuses can go on and on.

But this week has shown me otherwise.  I truly believe that God has called

 each of us to encourage each other in 

our everyday lives 

(families, work, schools, everyone we come in contact with during the day) ...

our various ministries within our churches & communities ...

(members, visitors, volunteers, staff)

even our inactivity within each aspect of our lives 

(we can interpret God's direction in each of our lives on this one)

I'm really not sure how this post will be accepted or even how my grandchildren will understand it as they mature & grow throughout their lives.  But, I do know that God has spoken to me this week through these 2 encounters of appreciation & encouragement. Sometimes it's easier for me to make my excuses & miss out on opportunities to be a blessing to others.  I don't really know how people will accept compliments and words of appreciation ... but I know that 

I am responsible for myself to follow God's direction for my actions. 

My words could be the words that will carry with someone who may be going through a challenging time in their lives that I simply do not know about ...

My words may be some of the few encouraging words someone may hear for the day or even longer ...

My words ... 

no ...

not my words but ...

God's words through His servant --

So, how am I doing at being an encouragement to others?

I'll admit that I'm working on it  ... 

I am a work in progress & am so thankful for His patience with me.

And I pray that I will continue to be obedient to God's guidance to encourage others ...

and that my future generations will follow God's path in lifting others up & encouraging them throughout their

everyday lives, ministries & communities.

We will never know what a blessing we could be to others

by simply being obedient to Him 

in encouraging others.

 

   

 

How Could the Woman Really Say That?

Normally I do not "respond" to articles or news clips that I have come across.  I see so many Facebook posts that begin "To the (fill in the blank) who (did such & such)" ... I've done this one other time when a scene at a restaurant really got under my skin.  But this post is actually in response to an article my husband told me about.  When he was recounting the article he had read at the office, my mouth dropped ... I was speechless ... I wanted to give this "person" a piece of my mind.  But, instead, I'll write a blog post about it.

First of all, here is the LINK to the article coming from the UK.  I must say that it was really hard for me to read. This woman states firmly that when her son was just five days old, she realized that "having a child had been the biggest mistake of my life" (her quote ... not mine).  She goes on to say that she "felt completely detached from this alien being who had encroached upon my settled married life and changed it, irrevocably, 
for the worst."  
Two and a half years later, she gave birth to her daughter --- and yet again she felt no connection or maternal bonding.  "What I valued most in my life was time on my own; to reflect, read and enjoy my own company and peace of mind.  And suddenly that peace and solitude wasn't there anymore.  There were two small interlopers intruding on it.  And I've never got that peace back." At one point in the article she even goes so far as to compare her children to parasites. 

Again ... I was (and still am) speechless!  In my mind I kept asking how can anyone be so selfish and self-centered to (first) even THINK such thoughts, and (second) PUBLISH them for the world to see?????? I truly feel for her children who are now adults. Her son has 2 children of his own now (of whom she does not want to spend her time babysitting her own grandchildren) ... and her daughter is bed-ridden with multiple sclerosis (with the woman who birthed her as her primary caregiver).  Oh the irony ... They don't even recall ONE time she said "I love you" to them.

I wonder what her children think since this article was published?  Let's face it -- they are in their 30s now, so she could have just said nothing at all.  I know, I know -- well, maybe there's another mother or mother-to-be out there with whom this article could help.  (I'm really not quite sure *how*, but perhaps we'll say it could)  But at what expense to her own children? And her grandchildren? I know that many women struggle with depressions after childbirth, but there's so many who have overcome the depressions & wouldn't trade their children for anything.  And again -- how do her children and grandchildren feel about this article & her openness on wishing they weren't even alive?

I know I've told the early days of my marriage, and how my husband & I were told that we had a one in a billion chance of ever having a baby.  When we heard this news, we were actually okay with it -- we hadn't been married too long (just a couple of months); and we knew that we could consider adoption but we wanted to wait for another year or so.  I will always remember the day the doctor confirmed our pregnancy -- we were so relieved, happy, laughing (at the other doctors), confused. Every emotion ran through us ... except the negative ones.  

Never were we upset, regretful, disappointed ... these emotions had no place in our family.  God saw fit that we were to be the parents of one of His little children.  And never has there been a day or a moment that we have regretted being parents.  And we have no regrets being grandparents. We cherish every moment we have with our grandchildren. There's too much destructiveness going on in our world today that brings lasting effects to our little children. We simply will not be one of those destructive forces.

Children have a certain ability to sense things --

they know when they're loved ... and when they're not

they know when they're wanted ... and when they're not

they know when they're accepted ... and when they're not

Some children go through their life wondering 

"why doesn't (this person) like me" ... 

"why does (this person) like (so & so) better than me" ... 

"why can't (this person) just accept me"  

I've known children like this.  And it completely breaks my heart that they go through these questions & 

try to rationalize why these adults hurt them so much.  

So, to the woman who wrote this of your own children --- 

God be with you.  

I'm praying for you & for other people like you (whether they are parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, etc).  

It's just my opinion ... but I believe you need a heart-transplant.  

I wouldn't trade my sometimes (alright, most of the time)  chaotic, hectic, toy-congested, fun-loving, 

child-dependent, sticky kisses & hugs, never a dull moment house with my two grandchildren for anything.

    

April ... Honoring Our Military Kids

Our Little Warrior Princess - March 2012

April has been set aside as the month to recognize our military children for their sacrifice to our country. They have either one or both parents who serve in our military to protect the Constitution of our great country. Some of them have been through multiple deployments whereas some parents may have only served stateside. But whatever the situation is or has been -- they are our young patriots.  So when I say 
"Thank You", I know it is certainly not enough for all these children experience.  There's so many aspects of being a military child that I just cannot imagine ... and here's just a few:

I cannot imagine ... 

• having a parent who is deployed to another country and is away for an extended period of time -- 6 to 18 months, possibly longer
• not having the opportunity to talk with the parent daily or possibly even weekly
• worrying whether they will come home alive, wounded or not at all
• not being able to celebrate special days with them -- birthdays, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, church & school activities, community events ...
• not knowing when the next phone call will be, if the parent is in a location that phone calls *can* be made ... or if they can video-chat, or correspond at all due to security
• changing schools so often as their parents get re-assigned and relocated
• the challenges of making new friends every 2 to 3 years ... while staying in touch with the friends that have "just been made"
• getting acquainted with new teachers and school personnel ... and always being the "new kid" trying to find your place in school activities and programs
• getting "comfortable" ... then starting all over again

I have, however, experienced some of these aspects with my grandchildren:

Lucy (who is now 4 1/2 years old) made her grand appearance into our world on September 23, 2008.  Her Soldier-Daddy was enroute about 9 hours away from home & got to the hospital about 20 minutes after her birth. (I was in the room with Mommy during her natural birthing of Lucy Michaela).  He spent a couple of weeks home, then was back to his duty-post to complete his assignment.  On the day Lucy turned 3 years old (2011), her Soldier-Daddy was completing one phase of training for his upcoming deployment, but he made a special phone call to wish his Warrior-Princess a Happy Birthday.  Then Christmas came & Soldier-Daddy was deployed. 

"Welcome to my world, Baby Brother"

Then February 9, 2012 came ... Lucy's little brother Thomas Alexander "Tag" made his grand entrance (this time Grandad was holding Mommy's hand during the natural child birth).  Soldier-Daddy was in Afghanistan, but was able to make a phone call to talk to Mommy & Lucy after Tag's birth.  Lucy & Tag celebrated their Mommy's birthday on February 13, then on February 20 (their Daddy's birthday) ... 

Lucy waiting to see Daddy -- Tag waiting to meet Daddy

"The" phone call ... Soldier-Daddy had been severely injured in an explosion.  (For more details, I have several posts from late-February 2012 and links to my daughter's blog regarding the explosion and forward).  Lucy at 3 1/2 years old and Tag at 11 days old ... military life took another turn on these little ones.  Lucy handled the situation in a manner that most of us adults couldn't even imagine -- seeing her Daddy for the first time since his injuries (6 days afterwards) at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center ... weekly traveling back & forth to the Walter Reed campus and staying at the Fisher House with her Daddy, Mommy & baby brother then back to home with Grandad & me. Lucy saw first hand what wounded soldiers go through.  Thankfully her Daddy's injuries were (and still are) recoverable ... some wounded warriors experience amputations, severe traumatic brain injuries, incapacitating diseases, and the list goes on.  

Lucy told Tag she would see him in a few days back at the Fisher House

Lucy inspired a personal post that you can read by CLICKING HERE ... Sometimes I Forget ... and sometimes I believe all military children can fall under this same category.  Unless you personally know a military child or was one yourself, you simply cannot imagine what they sacrifice for our country. These children grow up much faster than their ages reveal.  They serve all of us alongside their parents -- 

and yes, both parents sacrifice when you're a military family.  

Tag ready to meet his Daddy at WRNMMC

Baby Ariana was 2 months old when her Marine Daddy became our nation's hero ... she will never know the warmth of his arms, the sound of his voice singing her a lullaby or his concerns when she becomes a teenager.  Baby Chloe was just a few months old when her Daddy became the fourth quadruple amputee to survive his war injuries.  They learned to walk together -- her for the first time, and her Daddy with his new prosthetic legs.  There's always videos circulating around Facebook and other social media of surprise homecomings set-up especially for military children by their deployed parents -- and their tears, excitement & joy is just so overwhelming to experience.

Lucy is a very patriotic Little Warrior Princess

So please, remember our military children in your prayers ... and I encourage everyone to take a look at some non-profit organizations that are established just for the sole purpose of giving back to our military children.  If you need a few places to start looking, please let me know.  Because it takes a family effort -- the service member, their spouse (if married), their children (if they have any), and other family & friends.  Their service isn't just for a designated month ... they're in it for the duration.

I love my military kids -- my grandchildren.  And I'm very partial to all of our military children. 
Their sacrifices do not go unnoticed.  

Tag with Daddy's American Flag & Purple Heart Medal

Happy Month of the Military Child ... 

"Thank you" just isn't enough to show how much you are appreciated for the sacrifices you make for each of us ... 

We honor you not just for the month of April ... 

but always.  

The day Daddy, Mommy & Tag came home for good.

We Love Our Military Kids!!!!