They Model What They See

A couple of weeks ago Granddad called me to say he was finally leaving the office, and since it had been a long, stressful day for him we decided to meet at a sandwich shop just a few miles from home.  It wasn’t very busy at that time of the evening, so we sat & just talked about our day for a while.  Neither of us really noticed the family that had sat down at the large table next to us.  Mom & her 2 children – the girl looked like she was around 11 or 12, and the boy looked like he was around 9 or 10.  We didn’t see any faces as their heads bent down looking at the table.  Not one sound came from that table until Dad came along juggling 4 drinks & their table number.  

Dad took extra care not to spill any of the liquids and was very delicate in passing them to the appropriate family member.  So, I took a quick moment to notice … daughter was heavily involved in her e-book & didn’t even look at Dad as he placed her drink directly in front of her, son was so wrapped up in his hand-held game that he almost knocked over his Sprite, and Mom seemed uptight as she glanced up from her iPad to see that her husband did not put lids on their drinks.  So, Dad made another grunting noise as he had just gotten out his smart-phone, but now he had to make his way back to the end of the aisle to get lids for the family drinks.

When the staff brought their food, one of the servers made a light-hearted remark about the electronics in front of each person.  By the looks on their faces none of the family members really appreciated the remark, but seemed rather put out that they now had to make room on the table for food plates.  Throughout their meal (or at least until we left), not a word spoken from that table.

After witnessing this scene, I’ve tried to take a long, hard and critical look at myself:  Is my family-time truly time with my family, or do I allow distractions to take my focus away from them?  Do I brush off these distractions & excuse them by saying that I’m “multi-tasking” instead of giving my full attention to those around me?  Am I a positive role model for future generations, or am I too involved in what interests me to even care how the younger generation sees me?  Who, or what, are my priorities? 

I admit that I can be guilty as charged by allowing distractions to invade my focused time with my family.  I’m not by any stretch of the imagination a perfect person.  But, I guess the old saying is correct … with age comes wisdom (or at least we pray for wisdom).  I’ve heard young children beg their parents “No! Please don’t text anymore!”  And I just want to go over to the parents and tell them that their young child needs their full attention – not the leftovers nor the multi-tasking.    

We have no idea the lasting affects that our world of technology will have on the rising generations.  I’m not talking about the world of information or even technological advancements.  I believe in advancing technology, improving our information sources and having knowledge just a few clicks away.  I admit I have not been drawn to e-books, gaming systems, or computers with screens so small that my eyes wouldn’t know how to adjust (glasses on or glasses off). But I can see how some people are drawn to the technological advancements.  And maybe one day I may give them a try.

However, what I am talking about is the institution of family.  We’ve heard the expressions “monkey see, monkey do” and another one “we model what we know”.  Well, what do our little ones see us doing?  How are we modeling to them what families are all about?  Do they have to compete with gadgets for our attention?  Again, I’m not knocking modern technology.  Because it still takes people to operate the technology.  We have a choice to what we give our attention.  And I believe there’s a time and place for everything. 

So, in a closing question … what legacy are we leaving behind for future generations?  We only have a short time with our children while they are children.  Technology will always advance and there will always be new gadgets … as our kids keep growing. 

Forever Words

My Granny always said to be careful what you say and make sure you would sign your name to it. She referred to both spoken and written words. Now, this was "back in the day" of actually having a conversation with someone face to face, talking on the telephone (a luxury to many at the time), or writing a person a letter or card (and actually sending it to them through the "snail mail"). I know, I know ... so old fashion!  But one thing is for sure --- words were forever.

Today we have advanced modern technology tremendously. We have the world-wide-web that connects us to the Internet to send an email (which is actually a slower means of communication these days), post a comment to someone on any of the hundreds of social networking websites, write our thoughts and messages in a blog (such as this), gather any information we may need or want with just the click of a button. We have cell phones to carry with us wherever we may wander, with the means to send a text message through the cell phone to relay to someone else. Whatever the means, one thing is for sure --- words are forever.

My Granny had no idea that her forever words would have such a deeper meaning (and warning) today - 24 years after she went Home with Jesus - than they did "back in the day". For example, when we hand-wrote a letter or card to someone we most always proofed it (looked over it to make sure it sounded appropriate). Today, we "hit the send button", sometimes without even a second glance at what we've written. Or we send a text message, and afterward wonder if the person will understand what we're trying to say. I for one find it challenging to convey my thoughts over an email or text. I want to make sure that the receiver will have no doubt or misunderstanding of what I'm saying. And this goes for my "tone" of emails, texts, status updates, tweets, blogs, and the list goes on. Do I always succeed in my over-cautious proofing of my words? Not always. Do I always clearly convey the point/message that I'm trying to say? Not always. But what I am (trying) to perform is a heart-attitude check on my forever words. By doing this, I find that I have less damage to try to "undo" later. However, words are forever.

"Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me." In my opinion (and only my opinion), the person who made-up that phrase had absolutely no communication with anyone else. The fact is, words can hurt ... words do hurt ... words have the power to destroy.

However, there are words that have the power to heal ... to uplift ... to encourage ... to support ... to motivate ... to appreciate ... to be positive. Our pastor has said many times that "Words Matter" -- he actually had a series on this as well. And he's right ... words do matter, because they are "forever words". We can't take them back, we can't "un-print" them, nor "un-send" them. We will use more forever words to restore and repair what we tore down when using less-positive forever words.

I've seen so much technology developments in my lifetime, and I know there's more coming. Lucy will be a pre-teen in ten years. No, I'm not wishing time away (actually the opposite -- wishing it would slow down). But I wonder what technology advancements will be by then? Just when we think we've seen about all the "modern technology" there possibly could be, something new comes along. How will Lucy's generation be affected by technology? Will her generation be so flippant with forever words? Will she "proof read" before she hits "send"? Although I have no idea the answers to any of these questions, I do know that her Granny will always tell her to make sure you can sign your name to it.

For months the idea of blogging was in my head. I often wondered, though, do I really have anything worth writing? and will I use my words in the right way? I do not have the answers, but I do know that my name is signed to it.