My
"silent milestone" year has been a growing year for me. To most people,
milestones are reached by the decade or even 5 years ... but my
milestone was reached last year when I turned 48 years old. You can click here to read my post from last year's reaching this milestone, and then my recent post click here on my week of coming out of this milestone.
Which brings me to my second "r" of my past year ...
reflection
My 48th year has been a time for me to look back over my life at where I've been
and
God's unending grace & mercy. I don't think my life's
experiences have been any coincidence of bringing me to where I am
today. All of these have shaped me into the person that I am now. Some
have been positive experiences while others have been quite the opposite
...
but as I reflect on even the challenges, one verse of Scripture comes to mind --
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, and who are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28, KJV)
Not everything will always BE good, but God already worked it out for HIS glory ...
I'm just His vessel to be worked through. And not every experience we have in life will be a
"Christian
experience". There's challenges that we all have to go through in
order to bring us closer to the Throne of Grace. Just as Job faced his
life experiences, we face ours.
So, back to my reflections ...
When
our son-in-law was on his first deployment during their first married
year, our daughter took a "6 word memoir" challenge. As she read me
hers I began to think
"God, what would my 6 words be? How can I possibly sum-up my life in just 6 words?"
So, I thought about it for a couple of days, then He gave it to me ...
being where God needs me most
Seems
kind of simplistic and almost a "duh" moment. But, there's certain
points in my life that have come full circle. When I was a little girl,
my parents & I lived with my Granny and aunt. I have that
common life experience with my granddaughter & grandson. I know
just how important the grandparent relationship is to young children.
Just as my relationship with my own Granny was priceless, I pray that my
relationship with my grandchildren will be priceless to them too.
If
you read any of my posts, you'll soon get the message on how much I
value relationships. However, this past year has been a time of my
learning more about the meaning of relationships and the impact I have
on others. Not that I haven't known this in the past,
but I've been very keenly aware of my relationships with others over this past year.
Every word that comes out of my mouth affects my relationships ...
and even the words that don't come out of my mouth affects my relationships.
Every action ... every reaction ...
every thought ... every single thing ...
impacts my relationships.
Some
of the soul-searching questions I've faced this past year have been a
direct reflection from the mirror I see everyday. And some of the most
direct questions has been through my reading "What's it Like to be Married to Me?" by Linda Dillow. Here's an excerpt that has spoken volumes to me in this past year ...
I
want to take you on a journey with me, a journey through your life as a
wife; I want to help you live your marriage backwards.
To help you live with the end in view, I want to take you to a funeral ... In
your mind's eye, visualize yourself going to a funeral of a loved one.
Picture yourself driving to the church, parking the car, and getting
out. As you enter the sanctuary, you hear your favorite worship song
being played, you see the faces of friends and family and feel the
sorrow of loss and the joy of having known that is so evident on their
faces. As you walk to the front of the church and look inside the
casket, you come face-to-face with yourself...
You look at the program in your hand and see that there is to be a speaker, your husband. Now think long and hard.
- What would you like your husband to say about you after many years of marriage?
- What character qualities would you like him to have seen in you?
- What kind of love relationship would you want him to describe?
- What kind of love would you have wanted him to have received from you during all those years?
I know, I know ... sounds kind of morbid. But in my reflections this past year,
this excerpt has always come to mind and provoked some questions of my own ...
How
will I be remembered when I am no longer on this earth? What will my
legacy be? How am I doing as a wife, Granny, mother ... in all of my
relationships? How will Lucy & Tag remember me? What will be
said of me to my future generations? Will either of my grandchildren or
future greats want to have some of my characteristics?
I've heard this statement at many funerals I've attended ...
(Our loved one) has already preached his (her) own funeral.
Can't this be said of all of us? I am preaching my own funeral everyday ...
every choice I make ... every word I speak ... every action I take (or don't take) ...
every
aspect of my life is culminating into the impact I'm making while I'm
here on earth
as well as the legacy I will leave behind.
So this past year, I've reflected.
I've asked myself some hard questions ...
I've chiseled past what the person in the mirror says to me ...
and I've looked beyond.
This lady is perhaps one of the best descriptions of where I am right now --
being in the middle ...
And praying I've been a blessing to someone along my journey in life.
.JPG) |
| Original artwork by Sheila Atchley Designs |
Youth and old age met in the middle
and crowned her efforts with success. . .
As for me ...
I will continue to reflect and grow in my many roles here on earth.
I will continue to learn each day my purpose here on earth.
And I will continue to
be where God needs me most.
