My Monday Morning Meditation

Sometimes we all need a little 'tune up'.  This is my meditation for today ...

Inside or Outside?

When I began "blogging", my main purpose was to write for Lucy, my granddaughter ... to give her something tangible to read from her Granny ... to give her a glimpse into her family history ... to give her life lessons that she can take with her and pass down through her generations.  This blog touches on one of those life lessons.  It's a subject that I truly hope and pray that she doesn't experience -- from the inside or from the outside ... a subject that can bring hurt and distance even to the strongest of people ... a subject that we see too often in our various communities (whether family, friends -- businesses, churches -- schools, neighborhoods -- children, adults).  I'm writing tonight about cliques.  

Dictionary.com defines a clique as "a small, exclusive group of people" and gives its synonyms "circle", "ring".  Taking a look at the word "circle" -- have you ever thought about making the shape of a circle?  The letter O is a circular shape.  Where is its beginning point?  Its ending point?  And what about the synonym "ring"?  It's impossible to define the beginning and ending on a ring.  So, I'm putting these together as "a small exclusive group of people within a circle."

I have seen many cliques in my lifetime, as I'm sure you have too.  Imagine a little boy who may not have the greatest athletic ability but hopes that one day the other boys will ask him to be on their team at recess.  Or a middle school girl who sits alone at lunch everyday, and looks at the table full of other girls whispering and making sleepover plans for the weekend.  What about the teen who tries to join in at a youth activity, but no one will even acknowledge he's in the room.  Or the new lady at the office who just moved to the area and doesn't know her way around the city?

I know that there's times when we may not even realize that we are right in the middle of a clique.  We have our 'circle of friends' around us, and we are quite content.  But what happens when another person comes along and wants to 'join in'?  Are we open to accepting a new person into our little group, or do we shut the person out?  I've seen people within cliques even go so far as to say "I can't be seen talking to so & so. What will the others say?" And even "I've got the people I want around me.  I don't need anybody else."  

What are we missing out on when we close our circle?  Who is it that maybe God wants to come into our lives, but we aren't open to it?  Have you ever been on the inside or the outside of a clique?  I am so very thankful for my Mother and my Granny who taught me at a very young age not to shut anyone out.  My Mother would ask me "How would you feel if you were the one who was sitting by yourself, or not invited to join in?" 

And what about on social media?  Someone may say that cliques cannot exist on the Internet.  I would have to disagree.  Do we find ourselves 'visiting' social media only from those who are within a certain circle? (I'm not talking about the immoral or illegal -- I avoid those too!) Do we find ourselves 'avoiding' social media from those who are on the outside of our circle?  Are we 'antsy' that "someone may see my name on this person's friend list" or that "I'm following this person on twitter/linkedin ..." and the list of 'excuses' can go on.  This may sound a bit far-fetched to some people, but in reality it happens.  It's unfortunate ... but it happens.    

I have been on both sides of cliques -- the inside (unfortunately) and the outside (fortunately).  And you know, I have learned that actually being on the outside is more open than being on the inside. I said earlier that I hope Lucy does not have to experience the cliques in her life, but I know that she will.  My only prayer is that she will follow her Great-Grandma and her Great-Great Granny's advice to be open to other people coming into her life.  They may just turn out to be her dearest friends in this world. 

Cheese ... Change ... Huh???

Have you ever put something off because you would rather not deal with the 'topic' at hand? Well, I've put off writing this post long enough. The topic is one that I believe I deal with fairly well, but ... well, change is a funny thing. It's necessary for growth, yet we can experience quite a bit of growing pains as we deal with it.

         Important note before I really get started: There are some changes in our lives that can blindside us, leave us devastated and are impossible to foresee.  I am not saying that we can see what the future holds. Although this book reveals in ourselves how we deal with change, I do not take it as "this is how you need to deal with the earth-shattering occurrences in life". There is no better 'reference' than God's Word for any aspect in life. However, I believe that God can and does use other sources to guide us along the road of life. 

So now the question: what in the world does cheese have to do with changes in my life? I'm so glad you asked.  Now, let me tell you ... 

          Once, long ago in a land far away, there lived four little characters who ran through a Maze looking for cheese to nourish them and make them happy.

          Two were mice, named "Sniff" and "Scurry" and two were Littlepeople -- beings who were as small as mice but who looked and acted a lot like people today.  Their names were "Hem" and "Haw".

          Due to their small size, it would be easy not to notice what the four of them were doing.  But if you looked closely enough, you could discover the most amazing things!

Each morning the two mice and the two Littlepeople all go out into the Maze in search of cheese.  They get set in their routines to the point of taking their "station" for granted:  Hem & Haw gather and stockpile their cheese and brag to friends "We deserve this cheese ... We certainly had to work long and hard enough for it."  Then arrogance and pride set in.  They don't see what is happening.

Meanwhile, Sniff & Scurry carry on their routine of getting up early each morning and finding their cheese for the day. They had noticed the cheese supply dwindling, so weren't surprised one day to find there was no more cheese at the station.  Thus, they set out in search of New Cheese. 

Later that same day Hem & Haw go to the same station.  To their surprise -- NO MORE CHEESE! They were taken aback -- how could this have happened?  "Who moved my cheese?" Hem hollered. "It's not fair!"  Haw reacted a bit differently.  He just stood in disbelief ... shock ... unprepared.

          While Sniff and Scurry had quickly moved on, Hem and Haw continued to hem and haw.

          They ranted and raved at the injustice of it all.  Haw started to get depressed.  What would happen if the Cheese wasn't there tomorrow?  He had made future plans based on this Cheese. 

          The Littlepeople couldn't believe it.  How could this have happened?  No one had warned them.  It wasn't right.  It was not the way things were supposed to be. 

Hem & Haw thought of Sniff & Scurry -- how were they reacting to this situation?  had they seen this change coming?  Haw thought the two Littlepeople needed to be more like the mice, but Hem wouldn't hear of it.  "We're smarter than mice ... We should be able to figure this out."  But Haw rationalized that "Things are changing around here, Hem.  Maybe we need to change and do things differently."   Still, Hem wouldn't hear of changing ... he believed the Littlepeople were 'entitled' to the Cheese.  To his logic, he held fast that since someone else had caused the situation, he and Haw should at least get something out of it.

Well, the story continues -- the two mice and the two Littlepeople in search of New Cheese.  Hem waiting on someone else to put his Cheese back ...  Haw analyzing that the waiting game would not benefit him but could worsen the situation ...  Sniff & Scurry searching for a new way to bring joy to their uncomplicated lifestyle.

The story doesn't end here.  But my synopsis does.  I've been stretched, pulled and tugged by re-reading this short book today.  I like to believe that I identify with one of the characters the best in The Story, but I would be kidding myself if I thought I identified ALL of the time.  What if:  I took notice of The Handwriting on the Wall and actually anticipated change?  I had a more open mind when change occurs and "roll with the flow"?  I learned from my past to better plan for my future?  

I do hope that everyone who happens to read this post will go out and buy Who Moved My Cheese? by Spencer Johnson, MD (also author of The One Minute Manager).  We actually have two copies of this book in our house -- one for me and Granddad, and the other for the 'Joe's.

  "The only thing constant in life is change."


It's how we deal with it that makes the difference.

Summer Saturdays with Lucy ...

Here's a few pictures of Granny & Granddad's summer Saturdays with Lucy. There's absolutely nothing on earth that can compare to a grandchild. God is truly wonderful!

 

This laugh melts my heart!

 

Waiting on pancakes with Granddad.

 

Lucy loves a game of checkers after her Cracker Barrel breakfast.

 

Laughing with Nanny

 

The "cake-game" at Cracker Barrel is a favorite!

 

And the Christmas list begins ...

Great Expectations ... The Perfect Set-up

I need to preface this post by telling about my morning.  A typical Tuesday morning has Granddad  at a production meeting with the team from church.  This morning he wanted the both of us to have a quick breakfast at Burger King, then he would head on to the meeting at Starbucks in the same shopping center.  We had all of 5 minutes to sit together before his 7am meeting.  I had brought pen and paper to do some writing (blog post).  And I also brought the book I've been reading on "So Long Insecurity" by Beth Moore.  After I wrote this post, I picked my book up and flipped to the middle of chapter 2 where I had left off from about 3 weeks ago.  Low and behold ... she talked about unrealistic expectations! This was my God-moment!!! So, for whatever reason, God brought everything around to this topic for me this morning. I hope it can be used in some way.      

 

Expectations.  There you go ... I said it. I used to detest that one word.  There was a point in time when that was the one word that grated on my very last nerve.  Expectations.  (Sorry, but I just had to get it out again.) Truth of the matter is, however, we all have them.  We expect certain grades in school to pay off for our hours of study time.  We expect to nail the perfect job that will bring us contentment as we support our families.  We expect our families to be role model citizens and stay perfect in the eyes of our friends and community (I've been there).  Sometimes, we may even (albeit perhaps unknowingly) expect from others what we either cannot or will not expect from ourselves.  We expect ... we expect ... we expect.  Ouch. I'm hitting in my own ballpark now. Why am I even writing this????

Nevertheless, expectations can be a blessing ... and a curse (Monk may be ocd, but he may have just nailed this one).  Expectations help us set goals for ourselves, our families, our communities, our churches, our businesses, and the list goes on.  Without them, how do we know that we're growing and moving forward?  They give us a point of reference to keep our eyes focused to what lies ahead. 

But, expectations can also be a curse (in Monk's definition).  This occurs when we set unrealistic expectations.  I for one get extremely frustrated when I haven't lived up to my own (unrealistic) expectations.  A little scenario:  The 40 lbs. that has been attached to me for the past 10 years just doesn't want to vanish.  I set my expectations to lose that '40' and give myself 2 months to do it.  At the end of the 2 months, I'm disappointed that I've only lost 5 lbs (even if that much, uh, little.) I'm not only disappointed, but I feel defeated and depressed as well.  The 40 lbs. is a lot to take on all at once.  No wonder I failed to meet my own expectation!  However, if I break that 40 lbs. down into a smaller, more attainable number, then I can handle it better.  I'll lose 2 lbs. this week.  Then, at the end of the week, I set a goal of another 2 lbs., and actually start getting healthier in the process.  BINGO -- I now have an attainable goal to work toward!

Sometimes I can be my worst enemy.  Yes, me.  I set myself up to fall.  And at that point, it's harder (if not impossible) for me to see God working through and using me for His glory.  Each one of us has our own gifts and talents and experiences for Him to work through.  I (we) need to allow Him to do the work that He has set out to do in and through me (us).  

Now, I am definitely not saying that expectations have no purpose.  On the contrare, expectations have great purpose ... if we set realistic ones.  Sounds simple ... but this may be the greatest downfall in many aspects of our everyday lives.  There's times when I don't even realize that I've set myself up for failure.  Or that I've set someone close to me up for failure (in my eyes, that is).  This is when frustrations settle into my living space -- me.  So, I'll give up.  This spurs more frustrations.  Then more unrealistic expectations.  (See the cycle I get myself in to?)

Something I've learned recently -- set realistic expectations within a realistic time frame.  Rome wasn't built in a day ... it took a long time to pack on that extra 40, so it's going to take time to take it off ... anything worth having takes time ... But, most importantly ... He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it to the end.  God hasn't given up on me ... and neither will I.

Another aspect that I'm pondering ... what about the unspoken expectations we place on others?  I'm still learning about this one. A little at a time ...

 

Just Being Still ...

It's Wednesday evening ... Granddad's at praise team practice (he's the worship leader this Sunday at the building site) ... the 'Joe's are getting Lucy ready for bedtime ... and Granny has some quiet time. 

Normally on 'these' Wednesday nights, I'll look through blogs --- just by hitting "next blog".  That is actually how I found my new friend A Season of Harvest  ::: Hi Shelia :::  I've been reading through several other blogs as well -- topics, styles, arrangements, etc -- to learn more about this world of blogging. 

But, tonight is different.  It's just not a 'typical' Wednesday evening for me.  God just wants me tonight ... just to be still ... and know that He is Lord.  Sometimes with life rushing at us with lightning speed, it's easy to lose sight of Him.  But He's always here.  He just wants us to be still from the world around us ... 

 And now, my quiet-time ...

                  

 

Ducks Quack ... Eagles Soar

This story is from the Soldier's Angels Official Facebook page. It's inspiring and has really challenged me this week. May we soar with the eagles ... always in His Hands.   Hope you enjoy!


Ducks Quack, Eagles Soar

No one can make you serve customers well.....that's because great service is a choice. Harvey Mackay, tells a wonderful story about a cab driver that proved this point.

He was waiting in line for a ride at the airport. When a cab pulled up, the first thing Harvey noticed was that the taxi was polished to a bright shine. Smartly dressed in a white shirt, black tie, and freshly pressed black slacks, the cab driver jumped out and rounded the car to open the back passenger door for Harvey ..

He handed my friend a laminated card and said: 'I'm Wally, your driver. While I'm loading your bags in the trunk I'd like you to read my mission statement.'

Taken aback, Harvey read the card.. It said: Wally's Mission Statement: To get my customers to their destination in the quickest, safest and cheapest way possible in a friendly environment...

This blew Harvey away. Especially when he noticed that the inside of the cab matched the outside. Spotlessly clean!

As he slid behind the wheel, Wally said, 'Would you like a cup of coffee? I have a thermos of regular and one of decaf.' My friend said jokingly, 'No, I'd prefer a soft drink.' Wally smiled and said, 'No problem I have a cooler up front with regular and Diet Coke, water and orange juice..' Almost stuttering, Harvey said, 'I'll take a Diet Coke.'

Handing him his drink, Wally said, 'If you'd like something to read, I have The Wall Street Journal, Time, Sports Illustrated and USA Today.'

As they were pulling away, Wally handed my friend another laminated card, 'These are the stations I get and the music they play, if you'd like to listen to the radio.'

And as if that weren't enough, Wally told Harvey that he had the air conditioning on and asked if the temperature was comfortable for him. Then he advised Harvey of the best route to his destination for that time of day. He also let him know that he'd be happy to chat and tell him about some of the sights or, if Harvey preferred, to leave him with his own thoughts.

'Tell me, Wally,' my amazed friend asked the driver, 'have you always served customers like this?'

Wally smiled into the rear view mirror. 'No, not always.. In fact, it's only been in the last two years. My first five years driving, I spent most of my time complaining like all the rest of the cabbies do. Then I heard the personal growth guru, Wayne Dyer, on the radio one day.

He had just written a book called You'll See It When You Believe It. Dyer said that if you get up in the morning expecting to have a bad day, you'll rarely disappoint yourself. He said, 'Stop complaining! Differentiate yourself from your competition. Don't be a duck. Be an eagle. Ducks quack and complain. Eagles soar above the crowd..'

'That hit me right between the eyes,' said Wally. 'Dyer was really talking about me. I was always quacking and complaining, so I decided to change my attitude and become an eagle. I looked around at the other cabs and their drivers. The cabs were dirty, the drivers were unfriendly, and the customers were unhappy. So I decided to make some changes. I put in a few at a time. When my customers responded well, I did more.'

'I take it that has paid off for you,' Harvey said.

'It sure has,' Wally replied. 'My first year as an eagle, I doubled my income from the previous year. This year I'll probably quadruple it. You were lucky to get me today. I don't sit at cabstands anymore. My customers call me for appointments on my cell phone or leave a message on my answering machine. If I can't pick them up myself, I get a reliable cabbie friend to do it and I take a piece of the action.'

Wally was phenomenal. He was running a limo service out of a Yellow Cab. I've probably told that story to more than fifty cab drivers over the years, and only two took the idea and ran with it. Whenever I go to their cities, I give them a call. The rest of the drivers quacked like ducks and told me all the reasons they couldn't do any of what I was suggesting..

Wally the Cab Driver made a different choice. He decided to stop quacking like ducks and start soaring like eagles.

How about us? Smile, and the whole world smiles with you... The ball is in our hands! A man reaps what he sows. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up... let us do good to all people.